Other People's Toys, and the Born-Again Outhouse

"The 20th century is officially over.  Larry got a smartphone."

-- Waldorf

(Also, I need a new camera.)

15 November 2015

Winter Larry, our Winter Larry, emailed me from a smartphone last night. 

I'd sent him a message that I figured he wouldn't see, but the rest of the Slugs would, that Jack and I had left West Chester early and were now home.  

The conference was over early in the evening. Our friends were driving home. Our hotel room was one microwave away from crappy: the tub drain was blocked, leaving us standing in several inches of water whenever we took a shower; the shower sprayed the bathroom floor; room service had taken all the towels without replacing them, leaving me to flag down a housekeeper in order to snag some towels for my post-ride shower; and the so-called breakfast consisted of no water to drink, tepid water for tea, lukewarm oatmeal, and no milk for Jack's cereal (he had to wait around after I found someone to ask). If we left after dinner, we could be home in a little more than an hour. So that's what we did, and we got home in time to unpack everything and for me to load Kermit into the car.

I: Other People's Toys

I got to Cranbury early enough to take my time setting up.  Rajesh came over to show me his new bike. A friend had sold him a high-end carbon Colnago,  60th anniversary edition, with Campagnolo Super Record components. Complete, the bike weighs fifteen pounds.

"How much did you pay for it?" Steve (you'll see his bike later) asked.

"I don't want to say," Rajesh replied sheepishly.  He then told us how much he'd saved over the original price.  Suffice it to say that he saved more than I spent on Beaker's custom frame.

Raj loves this bike. The top tube is the classic Colnago star shape. The frame is lugged. The decorations are hand-painted, and the gold sparkles. The frame was made in Italy; most Colnago frames are, like most other brands, made in China.

Larry was on his newly-built Litespeed Ultimate.  It's very shiny.

Status and shine aside, Steve stole the show with his tricked-out recumbent. He showed me a picture of the blue cloth cover that completely envelopes him against the elements.  Only his head sticks out. For today's ride, most of his bike was unnecessary, but that hardly matters, does it?

 Larry wants me to bring Beaker next time he leads.  I should tell him to send me a text to remind me.

II: The Born-Again Outhouse

You'll notice that all of the above pictures were taken from the parking lot.  They were taken after the ride.  I deliberately did not bring my camera with me on the ride today.  That leaves me with having to describe what we saw in Cassville.

The bathroom was out of order in the deli near the St Vladimir Russian Orthodox Church, but a deli patron pointed out the porta-john in a park behind the trees across the lot from the church.  Jack H, Neil, Mark, and I turned in there while the rest of the group went ahead to look at the church.

The steeple, a gold cross, had a vulture sitting on it today. The bird and the top of the cross were close to the same size. 

I was first to use the bathroom. Inside, everywhere, in thick black marker, is scrawled, "Jesus saves," sometimes with a radio station frequency after it, sometimes not.

"This is a born-again outhouse," I told the guys when I emerged.  I offered no other explanation.  "You'll have to see for yourselves."

Which they did.

"Praise the lord," Neil said.

"Praise the lord and pass the toilet paper," I added.  "It's God's own outhouse."

Mark said, "It's a holy outhouse!"

And Neil replied, "Holy shit!"

Now we have two landmarks to visit in Cassville.