Duh.

I finally wised up, lined Kermit up against Gonzo, and figured out why Gonzo is so much more comfortable to climb with than Kermit is. After moving Kermit's saddle forward and up, I finally have that power I've been missing since winter ended. Lessons learned: when changing saddles, always mark where the old one was; and, after a crash, don't assume your seat post didn't flump down about an inch when you and the bike hit the gravel.