Scenes from the Last Rides of 2013

Grandview Road, 27 December 2013

28 December 2013

The ritual pre-ride excuse round, December 27, 31°F, wind chill 26°F, 8:55 a.m.:

Ed:  I haven't been on a bike in two weeks.
Ron:  I'm out of shape.
Me:  I haven't had any coffee.
Ed:  Oh NOOO!

Ten minutes in:

Ron:  I think I wore too much.
Me:  I think you have the same tights I do.
Ron:  I have long johns under my tights.
Me:  No wonder you can't bend your knees.

Woodfern Road at Leigh:

Me:  My toes are cold.
Ron:  Mine too.
Me: I could use a snack and some indoor plumbing.

At the Bagel Bistro, mile 27:

Ed:  The Hillsborough Bypass is open.  Let's ride on it.
Me:  No.

Climbing Grandview:

Ed:  "One hundred pedal strokes...fifteen...fifty-one...eighty."
Me:  How many was it?
Ed:  One hundred.
Me:  How did you do that?
Ed:  When I get tired I count.  On a big hill I break it into hundreds.
Me:  You didn't know it would be a hundred?
Ed:  Nope.
Me:  Well, you made it look like you knew.


En route from Village Park to Etra Park, December 27, 2013, 34-42°F, wind chill 29-36°F, 9:15-9:45 a.m.:

Me: Yesterday we were climbing Fairview.  Ron and Ed stopped at the bottom to use a tree.  I kept going.
Jim:  Wise choice.
Me:  So, at the top, I was taking a picture of the view, and there were these turkey vultures on the roof of a house, so I got their picture.

And while I was standing there I heard rustling in the tree behind me.  When I turned around, there were, like, twenty vultures just sitting there.  They didn't seem the least bit perturbed by my presence.

And they were stretching their wings to warm up.

Then I looked across the street and there were a few more in a tree there, and a couple more in a tree in the next yard.
Jim: What were they waiting for?
Me:  I dunno.  Tippi Hedren, maybe.
Jim: Tippi Hedren!

Etra Park, 9:00 a.m.:

Chris:  That'll do it.
Jim:  Is that a film camera?
Chris:  Yep.
Jim:  Better use up the film while you can still get it developed.
Chris:  Yep.
Me (hand warmers removed):  I didn't bring my camera. I'll need all my pockets for shed clothing.

Westbound into the wind:

Me:  Did you lead last Sunday?
Larry:  No.  I saw the forecast for rain.  Not like you guys.

Near Imlaystown:  balaclava removed

Eastbound with a tailwind:

Me:  So where's our September trip gonna be?
Tom:  I'm thinking about Mystic, Connecticut.
Me:  Cool!
Tom:  Yeah, and we can get to Rhode Island pretty easy.

Imlaystown-Hightstown Road at 526:

Me:  There's Tweety!
Jim:  Tweety!
Me:  He still looks awful.  I want to run up there and straighten him out.

New Egypt, around 11:30 a.m.:  off come the glove liners, arm warmers

Walnford, around 12:30 p.m.:  booties off

North of Allentown:

Cheryl:  Pace pusher!  Pace pusher!
Me:  Tailwind!
Jim:  [something about complaining]
Me:  Hey, she's allowed to complain.  See the keychain on her saddlebag?
Cheryl:  It says, "complain complain complain complain."
Me:  One for every fifteen miles.
Cheryl:  That's right.  As long as I never ride more than sixty miles.

Gordon Road, next to Amazon Warehouse:

Chris: Soon we're gonna have to give this road a new name.

Me:  Huh?

Chris:  Duck!

Me:  Huh?

Chris:  Amazon! Drones!

Etra Park, 1:00 p.m.:

Ron:  You were right about Al.
Me:  Yeah.  He made his move kinda late, though.  Hey, Al, you were kinda late today.  I figured you'd take off on Gordon Road.
Al:  I had a good draft.
Me:  I saw you moving up, one rider at a time.
Al:  The giveaway is when I get into the small gear.
Me: I can't see that when you're drafting me.  All I can see is your face in my mirror.

Village Park, Cranbury, 1:45 p.m., 55°F:

Me:  Damn!  I'm two miles away from [round number of miles] on Kermit for the year!
Jim:  You have to fix that.  You know you have to.
Me (looking for all the world as if I'm about to get back on the bike, then not looking that way):  I could.  But then it would become a thing.
Jim:  True.

2013 stats:

The difference in distance between this year and last can be explained by the greater number of miles commuted to and from work on Gonzo in 2013. Apart from Gonzo's miles, I rode farther last year than this year.  Miss Piggy traveled 70% as far as Kermit did.  I am not committing my yearly distance to memory, nor am I going to enter it here.  It's not the distance; it's the adventure that counts.

Bike tune of the year:

Robert Plant and Alison Kraus, "Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)"